Sunday, August 31, 2014

Calling All Heros

Yay! A post that has nothing to do with my anxiety (that I can tell).  This is a blessing that makes me so happy I thought it was worth noting.

Last night the family opted to stay in and watch a movie.  This is another picture based on a teen novel where the population is divided into segments and the unlikely young heroine is tasked with saving them all.  What I find interesting about these types of movies is that they take place in a future society where war and disease have riddled the world so much so that people are willing to allow this type of segregation just to survive, no matter how poor the quality of life might be.  It’s almost like we become so desperate to be alive that we choose to hand over our free will to anyone or anything that can offer us a day – despite how miserable that day is.*  (Ah!  There it is.)  In these stories, separation and conformity is a key objective of governance and survival.  The city is apparently the only civilization left, so of course they build a wall to keep themselves inside.  The population is separated into groups based on some arbitrary criteria, however there is always a lesser class and there is always an upper class which governs all the others.  And yes, even the lower classes manage to look down upon any class that is lower than their own.  I usually start these movies thinking, “Well, that’s not so bad, I mean if your alternative is a barren world outside of this last remaining piece of civilization.”  But let’s be honest, give any human that much control over another and inevitably they themselves will be tempted to promote their lives over the lives of others.   At the end of the day, it will take a rebellious and intuitive hero to look beyond the “fences” and see that in order for the world to not just survive, but to prosper, everyone must risk it all -break the chains of conformity and join forces in order to restore balance to their world.

Whew.  While that makes for good a good story line, I couldn’t help but recognize the parallels to our own world.  You see we are constantly reminded how different we are as people.  Turn on the television or click on the internet and you’ll see stories about wars in other parts of the world, you’ll hear about riots in our own back yards.  Race, religion, economic status, sex, political affiliation, education and many other things that make us unique are all topics to not only pronounce our differences to each other, but also to divide us as a society.  When I listen to talk radio, I’m supposed to become enraged at someone who has a different political perspective than my own.  I watch the news and I’m told that people in another country hate me because I was born an American.    On social media I see debates boasting levels of “rightness” based on levels of education.  The paper has stories of people fighting over rights based on sexual orientation.  I can even walk into a church and here chuckles about other religions!  (In church!  Really, people?)  It’s like a giant war brewing, being stirred up.  WHO would do that?

In fact, here’s what I know of my own experience:  I know people from other parts of the world, of those they could care less what country I was born in or live in.  I know soldiers that have been in some of these other countries and they were greeted with warmth and appreciation.  I know poor people.  Some are crappy, some are cool.  I know rich people.  Some are crappy, some are cool.  I know doctors.  Some are brilliant, some are idiots.  I know drop-outs, again some are brilliant while others are idiots.  I know heterosexuals.  Some care who you sleep with, some don’t care who you sleep with.  I know homosexuals.  Some care if you care who they sleep with, some don’t care if you care who they sleep with.  I know blacks, whites, brownies (I’m “Latina” “Mexican” “Mexican-American”…  I can call myself a brownie if I’d like.  And for the record I think it’s dumb that I have to list several acceptable Latino names.  I know what someone means when they say Mexican and if they aren’t trying to be offensive then I’m just not offended.), Asians, Italians, Germans and I’m sure many other –ans.  There are racists, non-racists, liars, honest people, thieves and givers among them all, true story.  I know Democrats. Some are good, others are not.  I know Republicans.  Some are good, others are not.  I know non-Christians.  Some are understanding, some are thoughtful, some are stubborn, some are mean and I think some are nuts.  I know Christians – Catholics, Baptists, Non-denominational, Lutheran, Methodists, and then some.  Some are understanding, some are thoughtful, some are stubborn, some are mean and yes, I think some are nuts.

I don’t blame the media, solely.  At the end of any day, I have to take responsibility for what I’m willing to believe.  I have to take ownership of my own willingness to be separated from my brothers and sisters on this planet.  If I allow someone to fence me off from my neighbors, that’s on me.  If I decide to take someone else’s word over my own personal experience and use that to determine how I view and treat others, it’s my fault.  If I decide it’s easier to conform to these types of evolving rules than to buck the system and question what I don’t agree with, ultimately I’m to blame.  I was given free will, we all were, long before I was given anything else and I’d like to use mine.

I don’t throw knives or shoot arrows (although I’ve always thought I’d enjoy that very much), but I do have a talent or two of my own.  So, I’d like to exercise my free will right now.  I’ve always been a tad rebellious, and I’d certainly like to think I’m intuitive.  I’ve told you what I see personally when I look past the fences of other people and I encourage you to do the same.  I choose not to conform to what anyone else thinks I should think about other people or how I should treat them and I invite you to consider that as well.  I choose not to conform to the idea of a diseased and war-ready human population.  I refuse to believe that everyone but me is cool just surviving in a world like that too.  And I’m definitely not handing over my free will to Satan and his sneaky ways.


*Many times when I write, I will have an idea of what I need to get into text.  However, sometimes I really have no clue and I just pray for guidance in what direction to take off into.  I just thought it would be cool to show you when the light came on for me today and give a little shout out and praise to our Heavenly Father.  Woohoo!

Friday, August 1, 2014

Valuable Experience

In a movie we watched yesterday evening, I heard something that stood out and I’d like to share it with you.  “You don’t have to save the world… I believe that’s already been done.”

Years ago, I experienced something out of the ordinary.  The man I worked for suffered a severe health emergency and died.  For years, I wrestled with many things surrounding this experience – as this is the event that likely led to my PTSD diagnosis.  Today, I still struggle with the memory of that experience, but I have come a long way and every once in a while I’m reminded just how far and sometimes even why.

Part of what plagued me is that I was in his office with him when it happened.  I was trained in CPR and first aid.  I was a quick and level-headed in an emergency.  So, why couldn’t I fix this?
How come I couldn’t save this person’s life?
Had I earned this punishment for something I did wrong?

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve pondered these questions over the last seven years.  It’s funny to me how self-centered we are sometimes that we really believe incidents we witness are all about us, isn’t it?  The truth is our God is so amazing it’s beyond our ability to comprehend and even beyond our ability to imagine.  See, He has orchestrated everything in this life down to the finest detail – there are no mistakes and there are no accidents.  Whatever we experience along the road of life He has meant for us to experience.  It becomes part of us, part of our story.  And I believe sometimes that story is intended for us to share, maybe to encourage others.  Or maybe our story is to prepare us to be a comfort to a friend.  But whatever the case, it’s only a part of us, only a part of our story – it’s not the whole thing.  With that said, it’s important to accept that being there with someone while they passed from this life into the next was exactly the role that was intended for me that day.

I’m not sure how I’ve already used what I went through or how I will use it in the future to help someone else.  I do believe, now, I wasn’t supposed to save that man.  I was supposed to be there, so he wouldn’t be alone.  I was supposed to be a friendly face.  I was supposed to bring comfort to his family.  I was supposed to use the experience to eventually support others.  All of these gifts were meant for other people to receive, which is perfect because I love giving gifts!

“Did He insist on my vision being the same as yours?  Of course not.  Did He make me one of those heros… no, that’s what I wanted.  God had a different plan.  God crushed my pride, opened my heart to love.  All I have to do, the one thing this love requires, is if I let others know they’re not alone.”

I think I can do this.  I think you can too.

(P.S. - The movie was Heaven is for Real.  If you haven't seen it, it's worth checking out.  Although the book, YES, is better.  Enjoy!)