Valuable Experience

In a movie we watched yesterday evening, I heard something that stood out and I’d like to share it with you.  “You don’t have to save the world… I believe that’s already been done.”

Years ago, I experienced something out of the ordinary.  The man I worked for suffered a severe health emergency and died.  For years, I wrestled with many things surrounding this experience – as this is the event that likely led to my PTSD diagnosis.  Today, I still struggle with the memory of that experience, but I have come a long way and every once in a while I’m reminded just how far and sometimes even why.

Part of what plagued me is that I was in his office with him when it happened.  I was trained in CPR and first aid.  I was a quick and level-headed in an emergency.  So, why couldn’t I fix this?

How come I couldn’t save this person’s life?

Had I earned this punishment for something I did wrong?

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve pondered these questions over the last seven years.  It’s funny to me how self-centered we are sometimes that we really believe incidents we witness are all about us, isn’t it?  The truth is our God is so amazing it’s beyond our ability to comprehend and even beyond our ability to imagine.  See, He has orchestrated everything in this life down to the finest detail – there are no mistakes and there are no accidents.  Whatever we experience along the road of life He has meant for us to experience.  It becomes part of us, part of our story.  And I believe sometimes that story is intended for us to share, maybe to encourage others.  Or maybe our story is to prepare us to be a comfort to a friend.  But whatever the case, it’s only a part of us, only a part of our story – it’s not the whole thing.  With that said, it’s important to accept that being there with someone while they passed from this life into the next was exactly the role that was intended for me that day.

I’m not sure how I’ve already used what I went through or how I will use it in the future to help someone else.  I do believe, now, I wasn’t supposed to save that man.  I was supposed to be there, so he wouldn’t be alone.  I was supposed to be a friendly face.  I was supposed to bring comfort to his family.  I was supposed to use the experience to eventually support others.  All of these gifts were meant for other people to receive, which is perfect because I love giving gifts!

“Did He insist on my vision being the same as yours?  Of course not.  Did He make me one of those heros… no, that’s what I wanted.  God had a different plan.  God crushed my pride, opened my heart to love.  All I have to do, the one thing this love requires, is if I let others know they’re not alone.”

I think I can do this.  I think you can too.

(P.S. - The movie was Heaven is for Real.  If you haven't seen it, it's worth checking out.  Although the book, YES, is better.  Enjoy!)