Merry Christmas!

Today, like many of you, I’ll set out to finish up some Christmas shopping.  I love to shop and Christmas shopping is even better.  The crowds are big, the decorations are up, the music is playing and everyone is out there thinking of how to put a smile on the face of someone they love!  Sure, the parking is a challenge, lines are long and some people get grouchy – but there are some benefits to these things too.  When we park far, I get to hold hands and snuggle with my sweetie while we take the long chilly walk from the car to the door.  When we’re in line, I meet other people and make small talk or I get to have uninterrupted conversations with my shopping buddy.  And the best part is when people are grumpy I get to really exercise spreading peace and joy by smiling, holding doors open, being helpful and wishing EVERYONE a Merry Christmas.  I really do love wishing strangers a Merry Christmas.  For whatever reason, it is always met with that unexpected expression – surprise.  It’s like the look I aim for when my loved ones open my gifts for them on Christmas morning.  It really is the best.

Jesus is and will always be the best gift we’ve ever received.  I mean, who isn’t warmed at the sight of a baby?  The story of His birth is beautiful and captivating – but that’s not even the half of it.  Jesus became a teacher and a healer all before giving His own beautiful life to save ours.  It’s important that we look at this on an extremely personal and intimate level.  Think of what Christ endured at His death and know that He did this just for you.  Not for millions, but for you – just you.  Wow.  Now think of your loved ones and that the crucifixion happened for each of them.  And then try to imagine the love that it would take you to do that for some one person that you loved.  Now imagine further how much love it would take to do that for one person that didn’t treat you with love or respect or perhaps didn’t acknowledge you or worse denied you.  It is quite a love, right?  So this is God’s love for each one of us individually, that He would sacrifice His son.  And the love of Jesus, that He would submit himself to that kind of death for each one of us.  This is why Christmas is special.  This is why gifts of peace and joy are important at Christmas.  By spreading these to strangers, I get to sprinkle some of God’s love on them to feel and see.  I literally get to celebrate the birth of my Savior – our Savior – every time I wish someone a Merry Christmas.

Now days there is a lot of worry put on offending people by using the word Christmas at this time of year.  To that I say this:  People are born.  The day they are born is called a birthday.  Even non-Christians believe Jesus was a real person.  Christmas is His birthday.  You don’t have to believe He is who He is to recognize his birthday.  You don’t have to believe in Him at all, He’s proven that already.  He already died for your friends, your family, your neighbors and yes, even for you knowing full well you would never believe in Him or love Him.  As for me and my family we will celebrate, we will spread the joy that only God could give us and we wish you all a very Merry Christmas.

Paying it Forward

Wow!

So I haven’t posted anything new in the last few weeks because I let myself get distracted.  But big things have definitely been happening.  Again, wow.  There is so much, so I’ll try not to ramble.  Fingers crossed.

This week I missed a phone call from a childhood friend that I hadn’t spoken to in years – yes years.  She texted me a question about dealing with anxiety and panic.  So, let me rewind just a bit.  I have been praying for God to use me as a vessel to pour out His blessings onto someone else for weeks and months now.  So, I call back and immediately I hear the despair in her voice.  We talked for a good while about what she was experiencing and things she could do to alleviate her stress.  I told her about people I had come to know and stories of recovery, including my own.  I found that from this perspective, I am still learning so much about myself.  Like, why would I look to the Lord as a last resort for assistance?  Duh – He should ALWAYS be my first call.  Anyway, when we got off the phone I immediately collapsed into the lap of the Lord.  I was overwhelmed with gratitude for so many things.  I was grateful for His answer to my prayers.  My husband, my kids, forgiveness, this opportunity to help someone who was in pain, support of friends and family, healing, others recovering from anxiety, the videos, the cd’s, the articles, my therapist were all appreciated so much more in that moment than they had ever been in regards to this part of my life.  Even the dark moments when I was at my very worst and felt so very broken made me grateful.  I was g

rateful that I could speak to her, to anyone, with experience and perspective.  Wow.

Funny thing is it didn’t stop there.  I recalled a family friend telling me about his own experience with anxiety and panic.  He had offered me his own experiences and an ear when I needed someone to talk to.  I know, these kinds of offers seem so cliché and almost obligatory.  I knew it was coming from a place of sincerity and kindness, but I wasn’t sure I would ever really call.  But in those seconds after hanging up with my old friend, I understood how genuine and important this offer had been.  I understood how important being able to help someone else is to my recovery and healing and how it very well could be for someone else as well.  I had to write this family friend and thank him for his encouragement and let him know what he had done for me.  I can’t recreate the emotions that I was feeling when I wrote to him, so I’d like to share part of the letter:

I just had to write. As you know, I’ve been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks for several years now. Today I certainly feel like I am in a much better place along my path to recovery. When I ran into you earlier this year and you shared your experience with me and offered your counsel, I was truly appreciative. With God’s help and the many tools and people He has placed in my life over the last year or two, I think I’m closer than ever to full recovery. But, I want you to know just how much your offer has impacted me over the last 6-8 months. Joe and I talked about it and while I never called, just knowing someone so positive and on fire for the Lord had not only gone through this but had emerged on the other side of it stronger and able to really smile was such an encouragement to me (and Joe) many many times. Although we’ve never sat down and swapped stories – and I still think we should someday – your success and healing has been a sure source of inspiration.

…I thought of you and what your words and generosity have meant to me and I just had to share that with you. You have to know that God has used you in this very specific circumstance to be a blessing to someone else and that it has been paid forward and so it is reaching beyond those you know personally. Isn’t that amazing?! Your suffering, your hurt, the sacrifice of your family for the length of time you were afflicted were for something great. It meant something. Thank you and I hope you are blessed by just knowing how much you and your beautiful wife and family are appreciated.

As for my friend, I plan on staying in touch with her and praying for her healing.  She is far stronger than she thinks.  I mean reaching out to ask and to call someone you haven’t spoken to in years was such a courageous and brave thing to do!

Me?  I will continue to “Just Write.”  Only now, I think I have the direction I have been waiting for and I am renewed and encouraged to take a leap of faith.

Begin it or renew it, I encourage you to start your conversation with the Lord.  Be thankful, be expectant and be willing.