Pray Expectantly

The holidays are among us.  I love everything about the holidays: the weather, the baking, the decorating, the music, the shopping and yes, even the crowds.  Hosting my family for Thanksgiving is stressful, but preparing a feast and a comfortable space for them brings me so much joy.  Knowing we will spend the whole day together visiting and enjoying each other’s company is something I look forward to every year.

My husband works in the mortgage industry.  Several years ago he was working for a company that closed its doors, and then another.  For a few years we crossed our fingers as one company after another succumbed to a faltering housing market.  We could usually get through about 9 ½ months with only an occasional scrape or bruise (meaning we had to figure out how to make $87.32 last 14 days for a family of four).  But it always seemed like just before the holidays, something extra would come up to make things just a bit more difficult to overcome.  Maybe a busted tire, a hospital visit or another office closure just before Thanksgiving would set the whole rest of the year into a tailspin.  And while we would recover, sometimes it took months.  By March, we were back to getting by on our shoestring budget.  When the kids were younger, it was easy to keep them from noticing how we stretched a dime.  And we could forego anniversary and Christmas gifts to each other, but it was all exhausting and I wondered if we would ever make it out of the cycle we seemed to be stuck in indefinitely.  I prayed.  Mostly as a last resort, but I did ask God to swoop in and help us out and somehow He would get us through.

Earlier this week we found out something extra had come up and it would affect our holidays.  I was so angry.  Quickly I flipped a switch – feeling trapped and somewhat betrayed.  Here we were working so hard to provide for our family and then out of the blue something was going to drive us off course.  And then I remembered something… prayer shouldn’t be a last resort.  While I’ve been very consistent about praying expectantly for family, friends, health, relationships and safety – I realized my prayers for our finances were a little different.  It came to my attention that I’d been praying expectantly for everything that I thought was out of my control.  For the things that I felt like I could control, I was only praying for backup.  Oh My Gosh!  Really?  Everything I know about God is that He wants me to be entirely dependent on Him.  I should be mindful of how He has never failed me, how He has always provided, even in ways that I couldn’t foresee.

So I did send up my prayers.  The next morning I took special care to thank God for all that He has provided for us, for never leaving our side.  And I asked Him to see us through this.  That evening my husband came home with some good news.  He had won a contest at work that meant a bonus.  My heart was immediately overwhelmed.  We love such a merciful and wonderful God.