Wow!
So I haven’t posted anything new in the last few weeks because
I let myself get distracted. But big
things have definitely been happening.
Again, wow. There is so much, so
I’ll try not to ramble. Fingers crossed.
This week I missed a phone call from a childhood friend that
I hadn’t spoken to in years – yes years.
She texted me a question about dealing with anxiety and panic. So, let me rewind just a bit. I have been praying for God to use me as a
vessel to pour out His blessings onto someone else for weeks and months now. So, I call back and immediately I hear the
despair in her voice. We talked for a
good while about what she was experiencing and things she could do to alleviate
her stress. I told her about people I
had come to know and stories of recovery, including my own. I found that from this perspective, I am
still learning so much about myself.
Like, why would I look to the Lord as a last resort for assistance? Duh – He should ALWAYS be my first call. Anyway, when we got off the phone I
immediately collapsed into the lap of the Lord.
I was overwhelmed with gratitude for so many things. I was grateful for His answer to my
prayers. My husband, my kids,
forgiveness, this opportunity to help someone who was in pain, support of friends
and family, healing, others recovering from anxiety, the videos, the cd’s, the
articles, my therapist were all appreciated so much more in that moment than
they had ever been in regards to this part of my life. Even the dark moments when I was at my very
worst and felt so very broken made me grateful.
I was g
rateful that I could speak to her, to anyone, with experience and
perspective. Wow.
Funny thing is it didn’t stop there. I recalled a family friend telling me about
his own experience with anxiety and panic.
He had offered me his own experiences and an ear when I needed someone
to talk to. I know, these kinds of
offers seem so cliché and almost obligatory.
I knew it was coming from a place of sincerity and kindness, but I wasn’t
sure I would ever really call. But in
those seconds after hanging up with my old friend, I understood how genuine and
important this offer had been. I
understood how important being able to help someone else is to my recovery and
healing and how it very well could be for someone else as well. I had to write this family friend and thank
him for his encouragement and let him know what he had done for me. I can’t recreate the emotions that I was
feeling when I wrote to him, so I’d like to share part of the letter:
I just
had to write. As you know, I’ve been dealing with anxiety and panic attacks for
several years now. Today I certainly feel like I am in a much better place
along my path to recovery. When I ran into you earlier this year and you shared
your experience with me and offered your counsel, I was truly appreciative.
With God’s help and the many tools and people He has placed in my life over the
last year or two, I think I’m closer than ever to full recovery. But, I want
you to know just how much your offer has impacted me over the last 6-8 months.
Joe and I talked about it and while I never called, just knowing someone so
positive and on fire for the Lord had not only gone through this but had
emerged on the other side of it stronger and able to really smile was such an
encouragement to me (and Joe) many many times. Although we’ve never sat down
and swapped stories – and I still think we should someday – your success and
healing has been a sure source of inspiration.
…I
thought of you and what your words and generosity have meant to me and I just
had to share that with you. You have to know that God has used you in this very
specific circumstance to be a blessing to someone else and that it has been
paid forward and so it is reaching beyond those you know personally. Isn’t that
amazing?! Your suffering, your hurt, the sacrifice of your family for the
length of time you were afflicted were for something great. It meant something.
Thank you and I hope you are blessed by just knowing how much you and your
beautiful wife and family are appreciated.
As for my friend, I plan on staying in touch with her and
praying for her healing. She is far
stronger than she thinks. I mean reaching
out to ask and to call someone you haven’t spoken to in years was such a courageous
and brave thing to do!
Me? I will continue
to “Just Write.” Only now, I think I
have the direction I have been waiting for and I am renewed and encouraged to
take a leap of faith.
Begin it or renew it, I encourage
you to start your conversation with the Lord.
Be thankful, be expectant and be willing.
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