Isn’t
it funny how sometimes our environment reminds us to do things we should be
doing? You’ve been meaning to fix that
leaky faucet for weeks, and suddenly every stop light, you’re behind some kind
of plumbing truck, a plumbing commercial comes on 5 times during your favorite
tv show and your work friend tells a story about her handy hubby fixing a
little plumbing problem at her house.
Alright already - you get it, so you call a plumber and make an
appointment.
Well,
there are some leaky faucets in my spiritual house that have been in need of
repair for a few months now:
1.
Obedience. Since I’ve been home, the writing project has
been at a stand-still and I’ve been looking for some direction on exactly what
format I should be working on, even when He says "Just Write."
2.
Smallness. I’m a bit of a day-dreamer, always have
been. Just about anything coming up, I’ll
day dream constantly about how it’s going to turn out. I tend to dream big, so when things don’t
turn out as perfectly as I’ve imagined it’s a big let-down. Isn't bigger better?
3.
Stillness. I’m not a real go-with-the-flow kind of
girl. I’d love to be, mostly. But the truth is I’m a lister. Make a list and check it off one by one. No list, no direction. No checks, you’ve failed. And I’m not very patient. So, you can see where 1 and 2 may become
more of a problem.
In
May, when God asked me to leave the job I had and come home to write for him
full-time, I did. But, when I told
anyone what I was doing, I realized how crazy that sounded. How do you tell anyone you left a paying job
to go home and jot things down from time to time without sounding like a
loon?! Stillness. So, I thought it
would be better to tell people I was working on a book. Besides, I didn’t know what I was supposed to
write anyway, so I thought it best to give myself a little push, a direction to get me
going. Smallness. I started to dream,
“I bet this book will be so good it will hit the talk show circuits, get made
into a movie and reach lots of people.
That’s probably what God has planned”.
I wasn’t hoping for fame and fortune, I wanted to credit it all to
God. But I did think that would probably
be the way he would provide for my family.
I had it all figured out. (Insert laugh here). Obedience. Only, four months later, the book doesn’t
look very much like a book – heck, it doesn’t look like very much of
anything. Actually, it looks like a
couple of hand-written pages of characters in a spiral notebook, it looks like a
few lines of song lyrics in another spiral notebook, it looks like a schedule
to an app for teens and it looks like a few pages of reflection over a couple
of scriptures. I was all over the place
and no closer to knowing what I was doing than when I started. I am no closer to A. Finishing so I can go back to a paying job, or
B. Being compensated for what I’m
working on. And what’s worse, I felt
like a flighty mess creating a stress on her family.
Okay,
so you can say I’ve kind of led myself awry.
Over the past few weeks, I’ve been presented several scriptures and
sermons specifically dedicated to these topics.
While I prayed for guidance in a couple of areas, I didn’t seek out
these scriptures or search for topical sermons – they are simply what was
presented in my daily bible readings. Well,
at least I knew who to call to get my house fixed. In matters of obedience, we can look to the story of Abraham and Sarah in the
book of Genesis. Not only did
God promise them a son, but He promised 75 year old Abraham that his
descendants would be an entire nation. And
after 25 years, there was no son. And
even though Sarah chose to take matters into her own hands, God’s plan was
still far greater than what anyone could’ve imagined. What a lesson of faith, waiting, trust and
obedience. For me, I’ve been stressing
over what to write, wanting to make sure it’s “big enough,” even dreaming about
how it will turn out. But I can be
reminded of the importance of smallness
and making ourselves small is what God wants of us in Luke 9:46-50. And finally, when waiting leaves me wanting
and perhaps meddling in His work, I see
how God’s stillness and silence even
when his friend Lazarus is dying can make way for the unimaginable God has
planned in John, chapter 11.
But
if putting those biblical reminders in my view was not enough, Jesus set up a
very tangible example for me yesterday. He
asked for obedience and stillness to introduce me to two Godly women in a way
we all recognized as His work. And in
that meeting he joined us in prayer giving us specific words and directions to further
encourage and bless all three of us, no longer strangers – but sisters. If you don’t believe God can do that for you
in whatever difficulties you are facing right now, I pray that you will open
your heart to Him. Don’t dismiss those
thoughts or moments when He whispers to your heart. Instead, pray for His presence and open your
bible or a bible app to any page and let the Holy Spirit guide your
understanding.
APPS
Check out some of my favorite apps: Laudate’s
Daily Readings, Reflection and All Podcasts isn’t just for
Catholics. First5 from the folks at Proverbs 31 is great for women, but I
think men would also enjoy it. And, Your Move with Andy Stanley was recently
recommended to me and I couldn’t be more excited about sharing this format with
my family. If you have some app
recommendations for me, please leave a comment below so we can check ‘em out.
TOPICS/QUESTIONS
If there is a topic you’d like me to look into or if you have any questions, please leave it in the comments.
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