Trust Him? Trust Him!

I’ve been waiting desperately for inspiration and time to put together the words on this page.  So, instead of wasting any more time, I’ll share with you a story about something that happened a few months ago because it is a great story and an even better example of what it is to “trust God.”

Last fall I was feeling the pressure of my anxiety and really asking myself ‘am I trusting God fully?’  I talked to a few people about what it is to trust Him.  I meditated over stories of women who had really ‘turned it all over to God’ in their time of distress and how He miraculously gave them peace over their fears and troubles.  So what was I not doing right?  What was holding me back?  I sought scripture, talked with family and friends and even checked with Google!  And while the devotionals were touching and inspiring and explained exactly what trusting God looked like, nothing could explain to me how to get there myself.  Then God enlisted my daughter to lay it out for me.

We had gone to the ballpark to watch my son, Jay, play baseball.  We were there for a good part of the day and Kami does what any self-respecting girl does when she gets bored, eat.  For several hours she tried to negotiate the purchase of some sugary frozen lemonade treat.  She even offered to use her own money to help offset our cost.  (Now, if you know anything about little kids, their source of income is coins on the sidewalk, bills forgotten in a jacket pocket and even stray coins from the floorboard of the car.  So, this little stash of money was hard won and precious to her.)  Still, I just couldn’t see spending 3X what it would cost to buy it on the way home, so we promised her we’d stop for a more affordable yet comparable item when we left the park.  In typical fashion, by the time we dodged raindrops and loaded up, Joe and I had forgotten all about our promise and ended up home with no frozen treat.  Luckily she fell asleep quickly and so the rain wasn’t all we dodged that day.  The next morning we prepared to go back to the park when she walked into my room and announced that she did not forget our promise, she would be purchasing her frozen whatever it was today and further she demanded her money.  It was at this moment that I got a stroke of, well, genius really.  Immediately I knew this was a lesson, not just for Kami but more a lesson for me!  I was pretty pleased with myself for spotting God’s ability to use my parenting as a parallel for His.

I told Kami I’d pulled the money out of her pocket the night before when we got her into bed and I brought it to her.  Now, like I said, this was a mix of coins and more coins she’d assembled from who knows where, but hardly enough to pay for even half of her desired treat.  So I offered her a deal:  she could have her money back and I wouldn’t pay for any of the frozen lemonade OR she could let me keep the money and she may or may not get the goody today, she would just have to trust me.  I told her it was entirely up to her, there was no wrong answer, I wouldn’t be mad or upset no matter what she decided.  (Of course, secretly I knew that I would be disappointed if she opted not to trust me.  I mean, sure, I don’t always follow through, I forget things, but all in all I’m her mom, her biggest fan – why wouldn’t she trust me, right?)  She gave it some thought and opted to trust her dear ol’ mom.  Yay, right?  Well after getting loaded up and on our way we noticed she was stressing in the back seat.  After a little probing she came clean, she wanted her money – but didn’t exactly.  You see, the next thing she said is where my experiment got kicked up a notch and hit me in the gut:  “Mom, I want to trust you, it’s just hard”.  WOW.  The courage it took her to say that outmatched my own and that’s when God really showed me where this lesson was going.  See, I understood where she was coming from all to well.  As the parent, I knew what plans I had for Kami that day, how I would buy her the frozen treat and probably even give her money back too.  Not only would I provide what she asked for, but even more than that when she least expected it.  I even anticipated her face lighting up with glee and how cool of a mom she would think I was for the surprise.  Immediately I made the connection to what God must see in me, His daughter.

God’s word declares His plans for us, plans for prosperity, not for harm, plans for hope and a future.  And while we believe this to be true, it isn’t always easy to trust completely.  But what He is after is our love for Him.  He delights in the moments when he pulls out the stops and gives us more than we asked for, more than what we could have expected and in ways that we couldn’t have imagined.  Oh, the love He must have for us that He would treat us as we treat our own children, except more perfectly – most perfectly.